When all the pepper spray craze really broke out a few years back it seemed everyone I knew had one of those little canisters in their pocket or purse. I was not sure if it was to my best interest then to carry one of those things or not. I had no idea what they were for or how to even use one. I could just see myself going into my purse for my keys and accidently pull out that little pepper spray thingy and trying so hard to put it back away that it would go off and I would blind the preacher on my way out the door on Sunday morning.
I am known, lovingly of course, to my family as “Grace.” It doesn’t seem to matter that my name is Pamela. When I accidently, and not as often as some would have you to believe, trip over something, or drop something they all look at each other and the closest one to me utters the faithful words, “Way to go GRACE!” I must admit my husband doesn’t do this, after 35 years he just looks at me and quietly shakes his head.
It’s not my fault. I come by it honestly. I believe it’s my mother’s fault and I can prove it with one story. You remember when I was talking about the pepper spray frenzy? Well my mother decided it was absolutely necessary that she get herself a couple of pepper sprays to keep in the house and the car. Her reasoning was not flawed. She lived in the big city and things had changed a good bit over time, and not for the good. The neighborhood had gone down some as the “Old Group” had begun to leave for retirement in other places and the subdivision had become overwhelmingly more transient residents that home owners. Crime was now being reported closer than ever before. Good reasons to make sure you have a little more protection around.
The problem was that when you choose your self-protection devices you should have and idea of what they do and how to make them do it before you mess with it. You know! If you’re not sure…ASK! Instead, my mother decided to take out one of her pepper sprays and try to figure it out on her own. Now as far as it is always being men who don’t read instructions I beg to differ. I don’t think she even looked at the packaging that it came in. Too big a rush to straight to business. She picked up the canister and pointed it out into the room and tried to push the trigger down, nothing happened. She then began to shake the canister violently and mutter something about it being empty. She then looked at it and wondered aloud to my dad that this is only 10% spray. Wonder if it will even burn anyone’s eyes? Then she noticed it. A little red plastic piece at the trigger. Could that do something? She then turned it sideways and begin to push and the little red thing moved. she pushed it all the way around behind the trigger and then with her thumb pushed down hard on the trigger.
With a powerful pop and a quick rush, a mighty stream of pepper spray burst into the room. WOW! She exclaimed, “That is a lot of force! That probably could have shot all the way to the door without any problem! Wondering why dad hadn’t commented on such an amazing display of self-defense prowess she look over to see dad holding both hands to his face where that “great force of pepper spray” and just landed. He couldn’t speak. Just a loud guttural moan was all that could be heard. Then it happened! Mom actually looked at her husband of over 50 years, visibly in pain, rubbing his hands feverishly over his face and she asked the question…”Does it burn?”
Dad’s reply in a voice mixed with anger, bewilderment, and extreme pain came quickly; “Heck yes it burns!” Now over the time since this happened we have all pondered whether mom asked this question because she had concern for her husband who she had just pepper sprayed or whether she still had a question about the 10% mixture. She has never definitively answered that question. I asked her why she didn’t use her practice spray and she looked at me like I was speaking a language she had never heard before. “Practice spray? What practice spray?” she asked. I then went on to tell her about the practice spray, the one loaded with water not actual pepper spray. “I saw that water one,” she said “but who would one with just water in it?” I said “DAD!” We do all now keep pepper spray in our homes and in our cars but I promise you dad has made sure that we all have practice spray readily available to train and perfect our use of it.
Now if this doesn’t prove that it’s in my genes I don’t know what does. It is a battle that I must fight daily. If I ever want to lose that name I will have to continue to try to win the battle daily for the rest of my life. And if I want a long happy life I’ll have to be sure my mother doesn’t read this post!